April 2012~snagglebox

The Trouble With 'Pay Attention'

Step into any classroom and you’ll hear it twenty times before lunch - ‘Pay attention!’
But did you know that it’s one of the least effective ways to ask autistic kids to focus?
Here’s why...

Many kids (and adults) would jump at the chance to visit a theme park and while certainly not cheap, there’s no disputing the fact that they can be hard to top when it comes to sheer entertainment and fun.

But all that excitement comes at a cost when you’ve got kids with sensory issues, so before you take your autistic kids on that roller coaster let's weigh up the pros and cons.

Helping your child through a meltdown can be one of the hardest parts of parenting autistic kids.

Amidst all the noise and chaos you have to somehow figure out what's causing it, and that can be tricky (if not downright impossible) if they're having trouble communicating.

At those times finding a reason takes a back seat to keeping everyone safe and just getting through it in one piece. So here are some tips for how to do that.

Boys Don't Want To Be Mommies

Today my son decided that he wanted a baby doll. A realistic one, that he can feed and cuddle and sing to. Because, in his words, “he wants to learn how to be a good daddy”.

I could not have been more happy to hear this. My son wants to look after something! To role play. To imagine himself as a father. I was so ecstatic my heart threw a ticker-tape parade.

So off we head to the toy store, a car full of smiley heads. When we get there, all we see is this...

The laughter floats down on the warm afternoon breeze.

Kids jumping on trampolines. Families kicking a ball together. Little girls holding hands while they swing. In my walk around the neighbourhood a thought fills my mind, one that visits often.

Are my kids happy?

When life lands you on a deserted island,

don't get angry... make a hammock!

Looking for a way to engage kids who spend a lot of time lining up toys? Get them to help you with jobs that involve sorting or order, like putting cutlery away in the drawer, sorting laundry into different baskets or stacking DVD covers.

Do I Know You? Tips For Face Blindness

“Please hand these report cards out to the class”

My son’s heart pounds as he takes the pile and turns towards the room full of strangers. Strangers he’s spent every day with for the past two years. He looks at the name on the top of the pile - Emma Landry. It’s a name he knows well, since he hears it every morning during roll call and they spent three months working on a Science project together last semester. But he can’t tell you if she’s sitting in the room.

It’s easy to run into problems with kids who are literal...

You: No cookies.
Him: Um, yes cookies...
You: No more cookies!
Him: Yes there are, look there’s a whole bag of them...
You: No, you can’t have any more cookies!
Him: Yes I can, look I can take the whole bag...

What looks like defiance might just be misunderstanding, so try this instead:

You are not allowed to have a cookie

It makes your meaning clear - he’s not getting a cookie because there’s a rule about cookies. He still won’t like it but at least you’ll both be on the same page.

When Your Family Doesn't Get Autism

I have one of those insanely big families, the kind where nobody expects you to remember their birthday and anyone foolish enough to volunteer their house for Christmas lunch has to hire three extra tables. There’s a lot of people, and we all love, support and respect each other.

But I can count on one hand the number of conversations I’ve had with them about autism.

Urgh.

Can someone hand me a tissue? A zillion flu microbes have come to party in my head and are trying to pound their way out with tiny sledgehammers.

Why do we call parenting a a job? You don’t get paid, there’s no contract, nobody employs you and you’re not expected or obliged to do it. But the #1 reason why parenting is not like a job?

Got hypersensitive kids who hate having their hair washed? Try one of these.

It's a foam-rubber ring that sits on top of the head, pulled down to forehead level where it acts like a balcony to stop water running down their face. It takes the anxiety out of shampoo time (and it's fun, like being in the rain without getting wet).

They're not expensive and you can find them on ebay and some pharmacies  (just Google ‘shampoo hat’).

Make A Sensory Cocoon in 30 Seconds

The world can be a pretty overwhelming place for kids with hypersensitive sensory systems. Lights, sound, colours, smells, the touch of clothes against their skin, the flickering of the TV screen... it all gets in and can be hard to shut off.

When things get to be too much they need an escape from all the stimulation. That's not always easy to manage though, especially when bedrooms are shared with siblings or you're visiting at someone else's house.

So here's a quick solution using something everyone has lying around at home!

62 Questions You Should Ask Before Signing Your Kids Up For Research Studies

Earlier we looked at some of the pros and cons of participating in autism research. Not all studies are created equal, and you absolutely have the right to understand what you're getting yourself into. So as promised, I've put together a list of questions you can (and should) ask before signing that consent form - you can download it from the Snagglebox Useful Stuff page.

Don't feel shy about asking as many questions as you need. I've spent time on each side of the fence, both as researcher and participant, and understand the importance to both parties of being as comfortable as possible before you start.

Not all of these will apply to every study of course - medical trials will require a lot more investigation than just a quick anonymous survey, for example.

(Oh and by the way, you could use these questions for research in any field, not just autism)

Bye Bye School... And Thanks For All The Fish

Today is the last day of school for my kids. Ever.

They're not graduating, just exhausted (me too). So we’re done.

Done with coming home with injuries.
Done with explaining why group projects are difficult.
Done with lonely lunch hours sitting on the periphery.
Done with being responsible for teacher education.
Done with ‘but he seems high functioning’.
Done with the focus on surviving instead of learning.
Done with trying to fit into a system made for someone else.

And it feels fricken fantastic.

But wait... what's that? The clock counting down my last minutes of freedom for THE NEXT SIX YEARS. Holy mother of lard. What am I getting myself into? And why the hell am I wasting those minutes sitting at the computer? I need to use this time more wisely...

{Checks nobody is watching}

{Runs around house in underwear}

{Eats the rest of the kids' Christmas chocolate}

{Sings Kung Fu Fighting on Lego Rock Band. Twice.}

Okay. Now we're done.