Helping your child through a meltdown can be one of the hardest parts of parenting autistic kids.
Amidst all the noise and chaos you have to somehow figure out what's causing it, and that can be tricky (if not downright impossible) if they're having trouble communicating.
At those times finding a reason takes a back seat to keeping everyone safe and just getting through it in one piece. So here are some tips for how to do that.
1. Don’t get angry
It’s pointless, it just adds to the noise and it doesn’t solve anything. Plus you end up feeling like crap. Your child isn't doing this to be naughty, stubborn or get his own way so being angry at him won't solve anything. Take a deep breath instead and rally your resources. And remember, no matter how hard it is for you, it's umpteen times harder on him.
2. Take control
Remove your child from the situation or change the thing that’s bothering him. If you don’t know what it is, put him somewhere safe and ride it out.
3. Don’t try reason
He isn’t in control of himself in a meltdown - the system has overloaded and is shutting down. Trying to reason, reprimand or even ask what’s wrong is only giving him more sensory input to deal with and making things worse.
4. Accept it
Meltdowns are a part of your life and they’re not going away anytime soon.
If you can accept them as his way of communicating with you, you’ll be less likely to be surprised when they happen. You’ll cope better if you can jump into control mode instead of wasting time and energy fighting it.
5. Ignore others
Make peace with the fact that people are going to stare, tell you he needs more discipline and assume that you’re a bad parent. You can’t change what people think so don’t waste energy there either. You’ve got bigger fish to fry.
6. Don’t take it personally
Your child loves you. You’re a good parent. All of your efforts are not in vain. It’s just really hard to believe any of that when your three year old is throwing toy trains at your head because there’s a scratch on the Dora DVD.
Hopefully when the dust settles you'll be able to look for clues that will help you prevent the next one (and if not, at least you'll have made it through this one without making it worse).
To learn more about meltdowns...
- What are meltdowns and why do they happen?
- What happens during the four stages of a meltdown?
- When and how should you intervene?
- What can you do ahead of time to prevent them and help yourself cope?
... head on over to the
Snagglebox Useful Stuff page and check out
The Super Useful Guide To Managing Meltdowns!
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